Romance Deal-Breakers

By On February 23, 2008 · 5 Comments

I just gave up reading a paranormal romance because I couldn’t deal with the historical inaccuracies. It always makes me sad when I can’t finish a book, because part of me wants to get some resolution. However, there are some things that just break the deal for me, things that I can’t ignore or just suspend a little more disbelief and move past.

My deal-breakers:
1. Loads of historical inaccuracies. I can put up with a few anachronisms, but in the last book I tried to read, the character talked about touching the Sphinx at Giza’s paws in 1818 or somewhere thereabouts. Being an Egyptology nerd, I threw my hands up in the air and bemoaned the author’s lack of research, as the Sphinx wasn’t fully excavated until 1925. Touching the Sphinx’s paws in 1818 would have involved being several meters underground. Argh.

2. That Certain Type Of Heroine. We all have this type of heroine, the one that will make you throw the book against the wall. My Certain Type of Heroine is usually too beautiful, too spunky, or too passive. If a book’s heroine would make Helen of Troy look like a cheap Whitechapel whore, if she can speak 15 languages and got her 6th Ph.D. by the age of 25, or if she swoons when her hero practically rapes her, I’m outta there.

3. Purple Prose. I’m a big fan of using dirtier euphemisms for love scenes, and if I run across too many “love passages,” “centers,” “manly members,” or god forbid, her “love button,” I run screaming from the pages. “Cock.” “Pussy.” These are good words. Do not fear them, authors. Use them judiciously!

What are your deal-breakers?

(And it’s been absolute ages since I’ve updated here. I’m sorry for that! In the past three months, I lost a job, started grad school, started a new job, and moved. I’m getting back into the swing of academia, which unfortunately doesn’t leave as much time for blogging… or maybe I’d have more time for blogging if I’d stop Simming so much when I’m wasting time that should be spent reading… Anyhoo, I’ve got to write a paper today, so enough blather.)

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About The Author

TDF Pamela

The Discriminating Fangirl, who is more likely to answer to Pamela if you shout it at her, is the proud owner of an MA in English, focusing on children's/young adult literature and popular culture. She's now not using that degree to work as a project manager for a mobile app company. She reads voraciously, loves geeky movies and tv shows, reads comic books as long as she's not pissed off at Marvel, and when she's procrastinating, she enjoys playing video games. She can be contacted at t.d.fangirl @ gmail.com and followed on Twitter @tdfangirl.

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  • RedFenix

    It always irks me when they use the word “sex” to describe ones anatomy. I’d like to know how “his sex swung heavily between his legs as he walked across the room” is actually possible. then of course you get into the meat of the action where “he slid a finger lazily through her sex before sliding his sex into her”. Sheesh already, think of some other words for Pete’s sake, it’s like you’re reading a book that censored or something.

  • http://blog.phoenixfyre.net The Discriminating Fangirl

    @RedFenix: I used to use “sex” a lot, before I got more comfortable with words like “cock,” and it does get ponderous after a while. “They rubbed their sexes together, and then he thrust his sex into her sex, and then their sexes exploded with delight…” Yeeeeeah. That’s some sexy sex!

  • http://www.ajhampton.com AJ Hampton

    LMAO!! “Exploded with delight!” Thats just too funny!! I think using too much of any one word can grate on anyones nerves. I’ll admit, I do use “sex” every once in a while, but I have no problems saying cock, pussy… whatever they may be. I think I time or two I dropped the c-bomb. I felt dirty after.

    Talk about dirty… I once read an eBook that kept calling a womans… “wetness” as cream. The author used it so much, all I could think of was thick, white cream. I was about to throw up by the end of the book.

    A deal breaker for me is too much exposition. I love dialogue, I love seeing the characters interact. If there are no sparks between the characters, you can forget about it!!

    I also hate the typical romance formula. Boy meets girl, they get together, boy does something bad they flee, then they meet back up.

    I hate it when they are apart! I’ll totally skip over that part and jump to the ending. LOL. I’m a nut!

    ((hugs))

    AJ

  • http://last_archangel.livejournal.com Meredith

    (Sorry to spam your blog tonight. I actually came here to respond to this one.)

    Today I came across this description of oral sex:
    “’I’ve got you,’ said Mick, catching her and laying her on the rug, before resuming his attack on her sex.”

    O_O Attack? Good God.

  • http://blog.phoenixfyre.net The Discriminating Fangirl

    @AJ: Cream? Ew! I’ve run across that repeatedly, and it is NOT a mental image I want associated with vaginas. [shudder]

    @Meredith: Attacking? Again, not something I want associated with vaginas, haha. I mean, those are delicate bits!

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