So I finally (finally) watched Thor last night. I was pretty excited for it, but now that I’ve finally seen it… I’m a bit disappointed. Allow me to explain in bullet points.
Beware spoilers!
I’ve tried to keep them to a minimum, but one of my favorite moments could be spoilery.
- Visually, it was a gorgeous movie.
- The acting was for the most part appropriately hammy.
- What the heck was up with Natalie Portman?
- I wanted more from Loki.
- What was up with that romance?
- Overall, the movie was entertaining but it just didn’t have a smooth flow to it.
- In closing, Chris Hemsworth really should spend the entire Avengers movie shirtless.
It was lovely and gaudy as shit. Asgard was like the gold-plated version of a 1950s futurist’s dream. I was wondering how they were going to create Bifrost and the whole rainbow bridge thing, because modern audiences are going to have a very specific vision of a rainbow bridge, and that’s going to look like something out of My Little Pony. I liked that they turned Bifrost into an Einstein-Rosen bridge, and the actual rainbow bridge that went out to the gate room was pretty gorgeous. I love that the rainbow effect was from iridescent minerals inside a glassy sort of stone. Good job!
Branagh’s directing was very over the top, and I think it worked quite well with the material. I’m a big fan of his movies and was pretty surprised when it was announced that he was doing a superhero flick, but I think he handled it pretty well.
Casting Anthony Hopkins as Odin was a stroke of brilliance, and for the most part, I liked all the casting. Thor’s band of merry men and woman were great, too, and holy cow is Tadanobu Asano hot. Jaimie Alexander was wonderful as Sif, and I want more warrior maiden, dammit. Also, Idris Elba was pretty inspired casting as Heimdall. I dig it.
Chris Hemsworth was pretty much born to play Thor, though I kept getting distracted by the weird hairline on his wig and his dyed eyebrows. Also, the beard? Something was not right about that beard. But back to the acting: he was pretty good. I couldn’t stand him at first, which is exactly how the viewer should feel about that arrogant little princeling, and I bought into his remorse and redemption. It worked.
I was wondering how Branagh would deal with the archaic language that’s used in the comics, and I definitely like that the modern-Earth people kept side-eyeing each other at Thor’s speech patterns. I have to admit, I was hoping that someone would say “By Odin’s Beard!” but I was doomed to disappointment.
Was it just me, or was she seriously phoning it in? My fellow discriminating fangirl Amanda thinks that she must have flown in on a weekend break from the other twenty movies she did this year to film her scenes, and I’m inclined to agree. I like Natalie Portman very much, but she wasn’t very good in this.
Judging by the proliferation of Loki fangirls on Tumblr, I was expecting some serious awesomeness from that character. And… meh. Tom Hiddleston did a good job with the character, and yeah, he’s attractive, but this is Loki. God of mischief. I wanted him to fuck shit up because he felt like it, not because he wanted his daddy to love him as much as his brother.
Loki’s one of those characters who really shouldn’t be a bad guy or a good guy. He switches sides when he feels like it, and he keeps balance in the world. The good guys of Asgard can’t get too powerful because Loki helps the Frost Giants or whoever fight against them. But the bad guys can’t get too powerful either because Loki will stab them in the back. We kind of saw some of that in Thor, but the whole emo kid motivation just didn’t do it for me. I wanted Loki’s ambiguity, not the desperate plea for fatherly attention that we got.
The romance between Thor and Jane felt like it was crammed in at the last minute because someone said, “Wait! We can’t have a superhero movie without a love interest! Quick, make her kiss him!” I could totally buy into them being attracted to each other because hello! Chris Hemsworth with his shirt off! But the whole “I pine for you even though we just met two days ago and have hardly interacted!” thing that was going on at the end just didn’t do it for me.
It was kind of slow to start, despite the exciting celestial event in the first scene, and I just didn’t feel too much of a sense of urgency in the plot even though I know I was supposed to. It felt like it jumped from one Exciting Action Sequence to another Exciting Action Sequence with some kinda dull expository talking stuffed in between. It was fun to watch, don’t get me wrong. I just don’t see myself watching it over and over.
I’m just sayin’.
Buy It Now:
Favorite Moments: (in image form!)
